How to Move Cross Country (Quick n’ Easy Steps!)

Those many moons ago, when Steven and I first initiated guilty whispers of a cross country move (see From Sea to Shining C), I did what I usually do in time of considerable question / major life crisis: query Google. I discovered a few charming, whimsy blog posts that described a kid-less long-distance move, and approx. 90 companies who would gladly pocket my 6K to lose, steal, or break half my lifelong possessions (funny story for later….). This did not assist in my online quest for bountiful how-to guidebooks and instant gratification.

Well, here I am, providing my precisely one million followers with the guiding light I originally sought.

A Not-So-Exhaustive Guide to Moving Cross Country:

• Visit some place once (or more) and realize you could see yourself living there, perhaps even sooner than retirement.
• Research, more than you could have ever imagined. We took to the internet streets for this; it was sometimes helpful, sometimes not. Don’t give up. Steve constructed an excel sheet that calculated our current expenditures on one sheet and predicted CO expenditures on another to gauge whether this relocation would be financially possible.
  • This doc also accounted for different scenarios, e.g. we both obtain moderately paying jobs, one of us obtains a job, district preschool is free or discounted, etc.
• We reached out to everyone and anyone who could provide some insight- friends, friends of friends, the moms of multiples group, that old professor who spent a sabbatical wandering the backcountry paths of your daydreamed destination. You gotta get a little weird and actually talk to people for this step to succeed (and it is such a good step, believe me!). For any one person who never answered, a handful did. Take some notes.
• If you own, find a good realtor and establish a relationship. It should be early in the process. Ask around; word of mouth is powerful. Be up front about your timelines and budget.
  

  Yardsale lyke a baws.

• Since before idea conception, we had been slowly purging the house for minimalization’s sake. Whether you own or rent, donating, tossing, and/or selling your barely used items helps tremendously. As an added bonus, I earned just about $3,000 selling items that were no longer useful nor brought us happiness (use these metrics when holding up that knick knack from 5^th grade!). Mainly, I posted to Craigslist, Facebook yard sale pages, Facebook marketplace, and held three separate yard sales over 1.5 years (msg me for deets and tips; learn from my mistakes and successes). This step made our move immensely easier. I really cannot stress this enough.
  • And, since we were homeowners, taking the time to make *inexpensive!* upgrades to our house helped to increase the sale value. We spent an entire weekend sanding and painting our cabinets from faded, poop-brown to modern white. Elbow grease, baby. This cost less than $200.
    

    Whatever you do, DO NOT HIRE A PROFESSIONAL; you will never recoup that cost!

• The dreaded job hunt. This aspect drove my standard Type A personality to Triple A Personality faster than we regretted choosing our moving company (funny story for later, I swear!). I started in February and received TWO offers mid-June. Plan accordingly.
  • Update your Linkedin (sounds dumb but is apparently helpful these days). Set your city to the one you plan on moving to, add a professional photo, and open it up to recruiters.
  • I ended up hiring a job hunt / resume expert and it was well worth it. Look up First Impression Resumes in Cherry Hill, NJ; Sarah is A ROCKSTAR for all career types.
  • Again, get weird. Ask anyone who might have a connection if they would be willing to chat. At the very least, you might gain some insight. At the most, you could land a “dinnerview” like I did with folks from the first company where I worked.
  • I found it worthwhile to keep a separate folder for every job I applied to. Include a screen shot of the job posting and the specific materials you uploaded for that position. Slightly tweaking your resume and cover letter for each position is (understatement) annoyingly time consuming, but apparently, worth it. I had no idea job hunting was a second job. I wish I were kidding. Keep on keepin’ on, boo.
• If only I had more insight on how to make your job hunt line up with your house sale. No lie, it’s stressful as hellllll. I just kept hoping it would all work out (it did). If I found myself job-less, a CO Starbucks was about to be one barista bigger.
  • Once you receive an offer, don’t be afraid to ask for a few extra weeks for relocation purposes.
• Work stuff: be sure to spend some time recording your day to day functions and detailing how to accomplish tasks that only you performed.
  • This brings up that awkward AF moment when you gotta officially declare your departure. Knowing what I do now, I would have handled things differently *reclines in rocking chair, puffs pipe, strokes beard*. My only advice is to practice confidence and, each day, remind yourself of why you’re doing this in the first place. More days than I’d like to admit, I second guessed myself and freaked out… A LOTTTT. Not even the most motivational, fluffy “your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change” posts could reel me back in.

    

    I bought this as an everyday reminder of the “why”.

• At this point, it’s probably time to start showing your humble abode to the MLS world. We were under contract within one week of listing. However, we lost our buyers 2 weeks before settlement due to mortgage issues on their end. I yelled. I cried. We opened it back up to the public and received an offer and timeline that was better than the first round. If it’s one thing this process has taught me (like actually taught me, not just me blindly believing an idea without substance) it’s that everything really does happen for a reason, and patience is requisite.
  • Something to keep in mind is that we really had no idea what we were doing this entire process. We guessed a lot. We researched a lot. We asked tons of questions. At times, we winged it. In a word: parenting.
• Find a GOOD. MOVING. COMPANY. We paid 5.5K to end up with a broken piano and expensive kitchen appliances, stolen tools (brand new), a missing guitar and tons of kitchen items, and a horrendous foreman who we nearly kicked off our property. Just pay the 8K or whatever the reputable company is asking. Most recent update: we just got the company to admit to loss, but the mountain of paperwork to prove the extent of loss and the time it will take to receive payment is astronomical. We likely will not see recompense for at least 5-6 months from the date of the move (if we’re lucky) and there’s no guarantee it will cover the losses.
• Things started happening all at once. We crafted a list of what large items we’d move and which we’d sell. Just about everything went out the door- couches, kids’ beds (they were on their last leg, pun int’d), desk, entertainment center, coffee
  

  We had these “dressers” for 3 months lol

  table, some décor, the kids’ big backyard toys, and our bedroom set. The large majority of this was handed down to us or bought from Goodwill; not worth lugging 1,500 mi.

  • We went without “normal” furniture for a while and everyone lived. ($30 kids’ cots are noteworthy).
  • Pack until face and limbs are blue.
  • If you’re as insane as us, you plan a 13-day road trip to get out there. Not to be detailed in this entry….
• Think about writing little notes or making small parting gifts for those who have helped you most.
• General kid tips that I’ve amassed and/or experienced:
  • Keep them involved in the process: packing, cleaning, helping, etc.
  • 

    Completely candid shot from our last moments in the house. A difficult photo for me.

    Promote excitement, over the silliest things, and try to shield them from the more stressful aspects and emotions.

  • Show them maps and photos of their new environment: the house/rental, neighborhood, and new playgrounds. Google maps street view!
  • Try to be as flexible as possible. Superrr fun for the control freaks out there. 😉 Bedtimes and food intake will stray from the norm.
  • Consider packing kids’ room last and, once in new home, unpacking first.
• This could be a standalone novel, but I attempted to discuss an overview of our process.
• And that’s about it! Nbd.

 

Anddddd….

…..how it actually felt:

• Visit some place once (or more) and realize you could see yourself living there, perhaps even sooner than retirement.
• Casually bring it up with your closest and most trusted members of your support system. “I had this liiiiiittle tiiiiiiiiiiny baby thought to uproot me and the fam to -this place- at some point in the future. Isn’t that interesting?” *nervous chortle / shifty eyes*
• End up sobbing in the fetal 5 out of 7 nights a week.
• Realize that, in fact, this is too insane for you and go back to life as usual. This may last anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 months.
• Snap out of it and get back on the planning Conestoga.
• Spend most waking moments thinking there’s just no way, and the entire thing is senseless / selfish.

  

  Thanks, IG, for all you do.

• Spend the remaining waking moments guiltily impassioned with delightful daydreams and Instagram posts of your desired destination.
• Before go time, act high school crush obsessed with your coworker of only 1.5 years with whom you shared hopes, dreams, aspirations, childlike giggles, cubicle plank sessions, deodorant, 15-minute government issued breaks, and toilet humor. You proceed to cry, a lot.
  • Find yourself in a surreal, dream-like, wraith world situation regarding your closest friends and family. Act outwardly fine, but internally question and chide yourself constantly.
  • Explore some morbid thoughts that decide this is the perfect time period for mental bombardment. Work through some newly surfaced panic attacks with your therapist (not kidding).
• Agree with sig other: you’re merely carrying out the motions as a proxy for your past and future selves. There was once a logical side to you that made this decision based on a laundry list of factors, keeping in mind the future of your family, dreams, and goals. Flip on the autopilot to honor these distant past and future self-clones.
• Awkwardly and ashamedly accept others’ genuine “you’re such an inspiration” compliments. Imagine them fly-on-the-wallin’ each 8pm “wtf are we thinking” sessions.
• HEAVILY lean into your supportive circle. I can sit here now and nostalgically reminisce over those people who, I feel like, made this entire process possible for us. I can say with certainty that we would have succumbed to our reservations and (my) guilt if it were not for these incredible individuals. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
• And that’s about it! Nbd.

You see, moving thousands of miles from everything you’ve ever known and loved is simple if you just follow these quick n’ easy steps outlined above.

Ironically found at one of my work locations.

In all seriousness, the past two years have taught me more than I could have ever imagined about myself and my loved ones. It sorta forced me into becoming a more patient, persistent human. We had this absurdly ridiculous life goal and set out on a course to accomplish it, despite the turmoil and tribulations. You know those motivational posters, littered with the catchy

“change is good”

“regret is scary”

and “you never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore” phrases?

I guess at this point, I’d have to agree.